I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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