Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
