hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize