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Barsexuality is the new black.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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