oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
