A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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