Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
