He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
