Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
