i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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