I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you didnt know i had herpes?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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