i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
