I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize