I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
