So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
