So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
