I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
