I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
