my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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