dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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