took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
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She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
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I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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