Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life

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  (816): dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life http://tfl.nu/cejd
  Replies (11) Good night (3385) Bad night (815)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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  (732): no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in http://tfl.nu/h08n
  Replies (6) Good night (5638) Bad night (867)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat

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  (803): If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat http://tfl.nu/80p4
  Replies (19) Good night (6859) Bad night (1150)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.

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  (303): I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it. http://tfl.nu/jr23
  Replies (7) Good night (2484) Bad night (774)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?

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  (614): Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team? http://tfl.nu/idfg
  Replies (12) Good night (3666) Bad night (1242)
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  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1599) Bad night (2077)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk

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  (317): I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk http://tfl.nu/c9us
  Replies (10) Good night (1972) Bad night (710)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'

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  (845): I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.' http://tfl.nu/qnb2
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (1196)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.

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  (630): Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago. http://tfl.nu/3f70
  Replies (5) Good night (3198) Bad night (645)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon

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  (647): Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon http://tfl.nu/dflk
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (1090)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us

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  (954): stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us http://tfl.nu/1h6z
  Replies (3) Good night (1952) Bad night (522)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???

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  (413): i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown??? http://tfl.nu/ek0c
  Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (378)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.

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  (410): You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club. http://tfl.nu/mn4e
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (331)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down

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  (906): I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down http://tfl.nu/5qer
  Replies (5) Good night (1069) Bad night (283)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.

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  (604): I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself. http://tfl.nu/ea90
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (421)

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