Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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(425): View more from Washington

Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground

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(859): View more from Kentucky

So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".

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