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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

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• (845): View more from New York

  she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.

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• (914): View more from New York

  does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high

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• (562): View more from California

  The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover

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• (234): View more from Ohio

  He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  She didn't have her own?

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