Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.