Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?

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  (424): Excuse me do you have gonnorhea? http://tfl.nu/vw5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (1828)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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  (503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve
  Replies (92) Good night (4870) Bad night (1116)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.

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  (334): She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard. http://tfl.nu/xu4e
  Replies (9) Good night (4351) Bad night (1392)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.

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  (401): Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face. http://tfl.nu/uer3
  Replies (61) Good night (1225) Bad night (4535)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea

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  (630): just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea http://tfl.nu/jqzl
  Replies (10) Good night (834) Bad night (3995)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.

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  (909): She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle. http://tfl.nu/v9v9
  Replies (4) Good night (4069) Bad night (1168)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.

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  (303): you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug. http://tfl.nu/8hzl
  Replies (5) Good night (3126) Bad night (1173)
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  (760): View more from California

  She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.

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  (760): She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle. http://tfl.nu/ihsx
  Replies (4) Good night (2791) Bad night (894)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.

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  (515): She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped. http://tfl.nu/qksr
  Replies (6) Good night (4353) Bad night (1228)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left

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  (918): I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left http://tfl.nu/o2bv
  Replies (1) Good night (2033) Bad night (992)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

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  (519): I wish they made people sized litter boxes. http://tfl.nu/qgr4
  Replies (11) Good night (793) Bad night (1641)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.

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  (480): Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous. http://tfl.nu/druq
  Replies (3) Good night (1484) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.

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  (678): I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost. http://tfl.nu/2pxc
  Replies (9) Good night (714) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.

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  (832): I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came. http://tfl.nu/1nw4
  Replies (8) Good night (1036) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud

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  (+44): My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud http://tfl.nu/dffg
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (648)

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