Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell

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  (856): a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell http://tfl.nu/7uki
  Replies (9) Good night (1340) Bad night (2099)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.

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  (203): he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/z649
  Replies (27) Good night (6409) Bad night (554)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.

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  (407): I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done. http://tfl.nu/92fz
  Replies (4) Good night (2938) Bad night (596)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve

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  (937): We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve http://tfl.nu/ierf
  Replies (21) Good night (943) Bad night (3822)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer

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  (570): Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer http://tfl.nu/4zlr
  Replies (30) Good night (782) Bad night (2725)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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  (585): Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did. http://tfl.nu/1e6o
  Replies (27) Good night (614) Bad night (12856)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.

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  (616): I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico. http://tfl.nu/ms4f
  Replies (8) Good night (4984) Bad night (860)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.

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  (754): You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm. http://tfl.nu/ypbk
  Replies (18) Good night (4821) Bad night (1036)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

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  (601): We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month http://tfl.nu/d8l1
  Replies (25) Good night (5421) Bad night (1108)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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  (630): I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up http://tfl.nu/11fq
  Replies (3) Good night (2261) Bad night (994)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name

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  (914): He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name http://tfl.nu/48t9
  Replies (3) Good night (3186) Bad night (831)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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  (617): Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time http://tfl.nu/k7i2
  Replies (5) Good night (1087) Bad night (517)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.

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  (720): I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help. http://tfl.nu/0nf6
  Replies (5) Good night (397) Bad night (1031)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.

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  (702): Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/5vt4
  Replies (6) Good night (541) Bad night (377)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering

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  (856): I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering http://tfl.nu/ry4c
  Replies (7) Good night (445) Bad night (217)

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