that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
