My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
