I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
