I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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