At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".