I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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