My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
