Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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