I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize