"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
