oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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