McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
two words...techno handjob
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
