Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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