are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
