oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize