I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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