what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
