Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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