I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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