Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
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Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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