I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
