We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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