those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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