the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
