She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Terrible idea I love it
The Olympian is in my bed
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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