this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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