look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
