my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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