I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
