one two three fourrrrnication!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
bring money and cleavage
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
