It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
