Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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