found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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