he thought i was a dude.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
