these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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