There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
