'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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