so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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