i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he thought i was a dude.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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