operation harelip BJ is a go
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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