you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
