I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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