My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
