he looks like a really good dad on facebook
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
