I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
