she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
