you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
